


The Stories of Broken Machines

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek Into Darkness - Fandom, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: BAMF Jim, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Star Trek: Into Darkness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-26 21:40:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/970583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "Welcome to the Eternal Night". Life for Jim, Khan, Spock and Nyota continues on Ceti Alpha V, peaceful and prosperous. But what will happen once Starfleet realise three of their senior members are missing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So much waiting for you

**Author's Note:**

> A sequel.
> 
> I had NO idea people would read or even LIKE WttEN, so I kind of felt obligated to write a sequel xD

_“What's this all about_  
 _Give me your doubt_  
 _All I need is your full attention_  
 _Gather 'round_  
 _We're never going down_  
 _Listen to my sound_  
 _As the beat fades in_  
 _And your chest pounds_  
 _If you see what I see_  
 _Then you know where we're going_  
 _Just believe, it's a dream_  
 _And I'll show you why I'm glowing_  
  
 _'Cause we'll never have to fight again_  
 _There's no reason now_  
 _'Cause all you need is love and love is all you've ever found_  
 _Don't you know my friend_  
 _That you know how_  
 _'Cause I am you and you are everything you think about_  
  
 _I can tell you're cold_  
 _So let me hold_  
 _The moment you've been dreaming of_  
 _But never told_  
 _Together we'd be bold_  
 _Our hand would never fold_  
 _When our eyes meet_  
 _We can see each other's soul_  
 _Follow me, soon we'll be_  
 _Where the clouds hang from_  
 _Just believe, it's a dream_  
 _And our sounds will make love_  
  
 _'Cause we'll never have to fight again_  
 _There's no reason now_  
 _'Cause all you need is love and love is all you've ever found_  
 _Don't you know my friend_  
 _That you know how_  
 _'Cause I am you and you are everything you think about_  
  
 _Slip into where you've been hiding all along_  
 _And all your fear is gone_  
 _Give in I swear there's so much waiting for you_  
 _So much waiting for you_  
  
 _We'll never have to fight again_  
 _'Cause all you need is love and love is all you've ever found_  
 _Don't you know my friend_  
 _That you know how_  
 _'Cause I am you and you are everything you think about_  
  
 _Slip into where you've been hiding all along_  
 _And all your fear is gone_  
 _Give in I swear there's so much waiting for you_  
 _So much waiting for you_  
 _There's so much waiting for you.”_    -  **Corey Gray - Where We're Going**

 

 

When Khan returned home, he was greeted by a five year old latched to his leg, eyes red and brimmed with tears. He pulled on Khan’s black jacket and said worriedly, “Daddy’s sick.”  
Khan detached Fabian’s hands from his jacket and knelt down to the boy. “Sick? What do you mean he’s sick?”  
“I went into your room and he was getting sick,” Fabian explained, hugging Khan. He stifled a small smile and picked him up. “Well, let’s check on him.”

Jim was standing on the balcony, watching the city below. It was still early in the morning, so the night patrollers were still marching around, eventually looking up to greet Jim. He was lost in thought until Fabian broke free from Khan’s grasp and ran to him. “Hello little Prince,” he smiled, picking the child up.  
Fabian didn’t say anything, but wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his face in Jim’s neck. Jim flashed Khan a look of confusion before Khan mouthed “ _he’s worried_ ”.

“Is my little soldier ok?” Jim pulled the five year old back, looking into his green-blue eyes. “Are you worried?”  
Fabian nodded. “You’re sick.”

Jim sighed. “No, my love. I’m not.”  
“But I saw you this morning-”  
“-And what were you doing up that early?” Jim kissed his cheek. “I’m fine.”

Fabian smiled a small smile and leaned against Jim’s shoulder. He walked over to Khan and kissed him gently on the lips. “I’m fine,” he smiled at his husband.

 

Jim and Spock met out on the city, both hand-in-hands with their children. Spock and Nyota had two, with another on the way, while Jim said Fabian was all that they needed. Their eldest, Avarin, was a year younger than Fabian, but could definitely hold his own against the half-blooded augment whenever they wrestled.

“Remind you of anyone?” Jim smiled, inclining to the fighting boys, laughing and calling Sobek to join in.  
“Can’t think of anyone in particular. Though Sobek reminds me of myself,” Spock commented when the three year old refused to fight and clung to Nyota. Jim laughed. “I don’t remember you being so shy when you attacked me on the Enterprise all of those years ago.”  
Spock smiled. “I am sorry for that.”  
“It’s in the past.”  
“Dad,” Fabian called. “Avarin hit me!”  
“Hit him back!” he responded, ignoring the glare from Nyota and Spock; the glare that could level a man.

 

*

 

Khan strolled through their home, pausing outside the door of Fabian’s room where he saw the five year old asleep, with Jim sitting beside him, watching him.  
“Jim?” Khan whispered, gently pushing open the door.  
Jim didn’t respond, but Khan wandered over to him. “He’s just perfect.”  
Khan smiled. “He’s our son, of course he’s perfect.”

Jim gently stood from the bed, making sure Fabian wasn’t wakening while the pair went to the hallway. “Would you ever want more?” Jim asked, looping his arms around Khan’s.  
“I would,” he looked down at Jim. “Are you trying to say something?”  
“I may be,” he smiled.

Khan stood infront of Jim and hooked a finger under his chin. “And what would that be?”  
“We could have another kid running around here,” Jim took Khan’s hand that was wrapped around his pack and placed it on his stomach.

Khan kissed him and wrapped his arms around him. Breaking apart he mumbled against Jim’s lips, “You know we’ll have to tell Fabian right?”  
“We’ll do it later.”


	2. Superhuman

 

[5 years since Fabian’s birth]

 

Jim watched Khan and Fabian together, smiling widely to himself.  His husband had offered to teach his son about his past, much to Jim’s reluctance. Fabian was enthralled form the start; sitting on his father’s lap, following his hand as it glided across a map of earth, explaining how much he had conquered and, most importantly in Jim’s regard, why.

The boy was asking questions every time Khan paused to breathe, or get another smaller map out. “What is Earth like?” he asked, looking up at Khan.   
“It’s...,” he trailed off when he saw Jim standing crossed arms at the doorway. “It’s a place full of good people.”  
“Then why won’t you let me go there?” the boy asked smiling.   
“Because it’s also a dangerous place,” Khan explained. “Some people let their greed get the better of them and-“  
“-Alright my little Prince,” Jim stopped his husband, strolling across the main room to hoist the smiling child into his arms. “Enough stories for today,” he looked at Khan.

Jim went out of the room, leaving Khan behind, and took his son to the balcony to watch the stars instead. If he wasn’t going to learn about history, he was going to learn about astronomy. The night was as cool as usual with Jim draping a blanket around his son that he had picked up on his way out here.

Fabian was just like Khan, Jim often thought. So keen to learn and whatever he did learn, it was quickly put to use. The boy squirmed slightly in his dad’s grasp and leaned his head against the groove of Jim’s neck, sighing contently and watching the stars and the city below.   
“I want to go to Earth,” he sighed.   
“I know,” Jim threaded his finger through the boy’s blond hair. “I know.”  
“So why can’t I?”  
“Your father said it’s too dangerous,” Jim explained. “He’s right; some people there are evil and will take advantage of anything they get their hands on. Trust me, my love, I know.”

Fabian looked up at his dad. “You know?”  
“There was a man-”  
“-A bad man?”  
“Yes, my love. There was a bad man who wanted to use your father against me,” Jim said in a hushed voice. “He wanted a war.”  
“Did he get one?”  
“No. No he didn’t.”  
“Where is he now?”  
Jim paused. He was going to say that Marcus was dead and thank God for it. But it suddenly came back to Jim that his son was only five, and that scared him. He was five and knew things about the world; he understood a lot of them too. He just sighed. “Gone.”

Fabian nodded and left the conversation at that, nuzzling back to his dad, and then swiftly falling asleep in his arms. Jim was explaining something about how big space was when he noticed the heaviness in his arms. Gathering the blanket around his son to shield him from the cold night air, he went back into the house and to Fabian’s room. He laid his son gently on the bed, detaching his arms from the back of his neck and tucking him in safely to bed.

Jim found Khan where he had left him, sitting in the main room, flicking absentmindedly through various maps. “Planning another conquering quest?” he joked, approaching the augment and sitting beside him.   
“Not at all,” he mumbled. “I have everything I need right here.”

Jim smiled at that. He didn’t see any of the cold-blooded-killer in Khan anymore, just a man who he loved with all of his heart. Khan leaned down and cupped Jim’s face, kissing him gently. When they broke apart, Khan’s attention was brought to the reminder that Jim was visited by Meryn earlier that day.   
“Any news?”  
Jim shook his head. “Not yet, she said it’s too early to be certain.”  
Khan nodded. “I’m sure we’ll know soon enough.”

Khan lay back on the chair, bringing Jim back with him to lean against his shoulder. “I was talking to Spock today.”  
“Mmm?”  
“He got a message from the Enterprise. They want to visit,” Jim looked up at his husband. “With your consent of course.”  
Khan smiled. “I made it clear that they can come and visit any time they’d like.”

Jim’s smile only grew wider. “I better tell him then,” he went to get up but Khan pulled him back down onto his lap. “What?”  
“What?”  
Jim rolled his eyes. “You have my attention, what do you want to say?”  
“I love you,” he mumbled. “I feel I don’t say it enough.”

 

*

 

The next day Jim had relayed the message to Spock, who was now contacting Sulu on the ship, explaining that they can come and stay for a while. Nyota watched the message take place, while resting a hand over the invisible bump on her middle. Avarin and Sobek wandered over to their mother, looking concerned, but she explained that she was fine.

It was scary how much both of her sons took after Spock, in every minute detail. When the message was over and Spock had said goodbye to Hikaru, he turned to Nyota, “They’ll be here in a few days.”  
“A few days?”  
“They were already on the way, according to Carol,” Spock explained, letting Sobek climb onto his lap.

Neither child had seen their parent’s crew, nor neither did Fabian. They had heard the stories, of course, but they never got to _see_ them.

Nyota sat down, picking up Avarin and letting him tell a story that Fabian had heard. Those two were inseparable. The whole time Nyota was listening, Spock noticed her hand move to her middle, as if sending the message that she was pregnant again silently, so the other boys wouldn’t know.

Spock smiled softly, something he was starting to do more and more of since settling on Ceti Alpha V.

When Avarin finished his story, he asked to go and visit Fabian. Apparently, he had found something in the desert while with Khan and wanted to show the other boy. Spock reluctantly agreed, but relishing in the knowledge that Jim would be home, and more than likely watching the children like a hawk.

Nyota led the four year old over, smiling at every augment that passed. She was amazed at how much these people had accepted her, Spock and their children. It was amazing.

Jim was with Fabian when Nyota walked into their home, letting the two boys wander off to wherever it was they wanted to go. “Spock delivered the message then?”  
Nyota nodded. “They’ll be here in a few days, according to Carol.”  
Jim smiled and invited Nyota to sit down with him. “Five years...” he trailed off.   
“I know,” she agreed. “Seems longer.”

Nyota noticed Jim’s ‘off-‘behaviour. “Are you alright?”  
“To be honest,” he sighed, catching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “I’m not.”  
“What’s wrong?”  
“I don’t know,” he said bluntly. “I just feel...”  
“...Off?”  
Jim nodded, and then stifled a laugh. “I think I’m losing my mind.”  
“No, it’s normal. You should tell Khan though. He might be able to help,” Nyota explained.

Jim just shrugged and lifted his head to look at Nyota. “I don’t know if he would be able to.”

 

*

 

Khan wandered his home for the final time during the night, making sure everything was peaceful. He had glanced into Fabian’s room to find his sleeping contently. He then went back to his room and saw Jim lying on his side, arms coiled around himself.

Khan lay down behind Jim, wrapping an arm over his, pulling him into his chest. “What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing,” he whispered.  
“James, don’t lie to me,” Khan turned him around to his back, making sure he could see Jim’s face which he noted where stained in tears. “Tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll help make it right.”  
“I...” Jim started, voice shaking. He couldn’t finish his sentence for two reasons; he couldn’t catch his breath from crying, and secondly...He didn’t _know_ what was wrong. His mind was a jumble of thoughts that he just wanted to escape from.

“I was thinking about everything that has happened to us,” he said after awhile. “With Marcus, the Enterprise, getting here...Then with Fabain’s birth I...I was happy. More than happy, actually. But I can’t help but feel-”  
“-Lost?” Khan finished, looking at his husband and wiping away a tear that had fallen from his blue eyes. “It’s normal to be lost after having a child.”  
“Yes, _after_ having a child. Not five years after,” he said, turning back around to his side, facing away from Khan. “When you were telling him about the evil people in our world, I thought to myself; I brought him into it. I brought this helpless child into an evil world full of evil people.”

Khan shook his head, pulling Jim back to his chest and whispered, “We’ll protect him, and I’ll protect you.”

He drew Jim’s head back slightly to look at him. “Those evil people are nothing but ants to us. Minorities at the other side of the galaxy,” he explained, letting Jim shuffle around until they were facing each other. “If they should ever come, I’ll kill them all. Every bloody one of them, until you and our family are the only ones remaining.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What even is this chapter. It was fluffy....Then sad....Then Khan got scary.
> 
> ._.
> 
> Anyways. I am actually taking suggestions for baby genders as we have two on the way :3 I was intending to give KhanXJim a girl anyways, but your suggestions are always welcomed :)
> 
> AANNNDDDD any plot-line suggestions as I am so stuck with trying to think of one xD


	3. Waking up Strange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to be writing a short story for English class, due on Tuesday [today is Saturday]...Instead I'm writing these.... I regret nothing.

**_“_** _Sometimes life it takes you by the hair  
It pulls you down before you know it  
It’s gone and you’re dead again. I’ve been in places and I won’t pretend  
That I'd make it out just to fall on my head  
  
Wake up strange and take the walk downstairs  
Hit the pawn up on the corner and pay for my rent  
You know that I could not believe my own truth  
Just show them what I choose, got nothing to lose  
  
Yeah, yeah and it’s O.K.  
I tie my hands up to a chair so I don’t fall that way.  
Yeah, yeah and I’m alright.  
I took a sip of something poisoned but I’ll hold on tight.  
  
You know those days when you want to just choose  
To not get out of bed; you're lost in your head again.  
You play the game but you kind of cut  
’Cause you’re coming down hard and your joints are all stuck.  
I tried to say that’s not the only way  
I never knew if I could face myself to change.  
You were pacing I was insecure.  
Slip and fall, I got the calls from the prison I've been living in.  
  
Yeah, yeah and it’s O.K.  
I tie my hands up to a chair so I don’t fall that way.  
Yeah, yeah and I’m alright._ _  
_ _I took a sip of something poisoned but I’ll hold on tight._ **”** **– ‘Helena Beat’ – Foster the People**

 

Khan woke up with a jolt of fear coursing through his body. He flung himself into a sitting position and quickly looked around the room, then calming slightly at the reminder of the body beside him. Jim, who had his head nuzzled against Khan’s neck, looked up at his husband gasping for breath.

“Khan,” he mumbled, gently resting a hand on Khan’s bicep. He knew Khan had nightmares, and sometimes they were bad ones, but he had never seen ones so bad that left him like this. He was covered in sweat, his black hair sticking to his forehead, and he was so...so disorientated.

“Khan, hush,” he mumbled again, sitting up behind him. “I’m here.”

The augment turned his head slightly and let his eyes run over Jim. Jim was still here. With him. Jim gently coaxed him back down to the bed, murmuring softly. When he was sure Khan had calmed down, he asked, “What was it about this time?”  
Khan looked at Jim, cupping the side of his face in his hand. “You.”

Jim looked at Khan, taken back slightly. Khan’s nightmares were about many things; his past life, the rebellions, Marcus...but never him.

“Me?”  
Khan nodded slightly, eye’s watering slightly. “I’m sorry.”  
“What are you sorry for?” Jim asked puzzled, getting slightly scared at this point.  
Khan abandoned the touch on Jim’s face to bring the blond in towards his body. “I dreamt that you were taken from me. You were taken from our son...”  
“Taken?”  
“You died, James,” Khan’s breath hitched. “You died and I couldn’t save you.”  
Jim pulled out of Khan’s hold and flipped onto his stomach to look him straight in the eye. “Khan, you could never harm me. You’re the strongest man I have ever met-”  
“-I wasn’t strong enough,” he replied.

Jim sighed and rubbed his face. “What happened in your nightmare?”  
Khan took a deep breath before starting. “You were carrying another child, our child,” he said, looking at Jim vacantly. “When the time came for you to give birth, I...I was there, with you. I was there holding your hand, talking you through it. In a few moments, we would be holding our new child,” he and Jim laughed and smiled at the description, but Jim knew this was going to take a bad turn.

“But then you went pale,” Khan’s eyes were haunted with that image. “I saw your face go white, and I thought...I thought it was maybe just the birth but...Eli panicked. You went limp in my arms, your eyes-your beautiful blue eyes, there was nothing in them-” Khan caught Jim’s chin between his fingers, looking at his husband. “-Then they closed. You hold on my hand slacked, and you...”

Khan couldn’t finish. He was hysterical, looking at Jim for comfort. Of course he could feel his husband, but he still wanted reassurance. Jim shook his head then crawled up to the headboard, lying Khan’s head on his lap. “You died Jim,” he stuttered. “You died in _my_ arms, giving birth to _my_ child. And I couldn’t do anything.”

Jim just listened, and combed Khan’s sweat-drenched hair with his fingers. “I’m here,” he mumbled. “I’m here, and I love you so much. You could never hurt me.”

Khan closed his eyes and willed himself to believe that. He would never hurt Jim. Never. But the thought of losing him had crippled him. In fact, Jim was sure this was the one time he saw Khan with his walls crumbling around him. But that’s why he was here. He always said he’d be the one to rebuild them, brick by brick.

A few moments of silence fell between the pair. Jim listened to the ragged breaths of his husband gradually even out until he was sure Khan had drifted back to sleep. A light sleep, but a sleep nonetheless.

Jim stayed awake though, gently running his fingers through Khan’s hair, talking to him softly. When he was certain Khan had ventured into a deeper sleep, he slipped out from the sheets, letting his husband sleep in peace. Jim grabbed one of his ash-coloured shirts and put it on before walking quietly to Fabian’s room.

He had taken two steps out into the corridor when the five year old collided into him. “What are you doing up?” Jim raised an eyebrow.   
“I heard you and father talking,” Fabian mumbled. Jim sighed. “Is he ok?”  
“Yes,” Jim picked up his son in his arms. “He’s fine now. Let’s get you back to bed.”

Jim carried the boy back to his room and placed his down in bed, covering his tiny body with the silk sheets. “Are you ok, dad?”  
“Hmm?” he asked absentmindedly, making sure his son was warm enough.   
“Are _you_ ok?” he repeated, looking at his dad worriedly.

Jim sighed and sat down beside the boy in the bed. “Yes.”  
“You don’t sound ok,” he informed.   
“I’m fine, Fay,” Jim said, sounding angrier than he meant to. “Your father and I...We just...”

He looked down at his son. His eyes slightly widened because of Jim’s sudden tone. “I’m sorry, my love,” he kissed the boy’s head. “Your father is just having bad dreams. He’s very scared at the moment.”  
Fabian looked up puzzled. “But father isn’t afraid of anything.”  
“He is, my love,” Jim smiled sadly. “He’s afraid of losing me, of losing you. Everyone he cares most about.”   
Fabian nodded understandingly. “He needs us to be strong,” Jim said, brushing the blond hair of his son’s face. “Can you do that?”  
“Yes daddy.”  
Jim smiled. “Good boy,” he stood from the bed and let Fabian lie back down. “Get some sleep before first light.”

 

*

 

The Enterprise and her crew arrived later that week. At least something good was happening. Jim, once again, had to calm his husband down from a nightmare. But this one was far worse. More vivid and real, to the point where Khan couldn’t go back to sleep. He just let himself be cradled by Jim for those silent hours until the morning sun shone into their room. Then he was a King again.

“You look like Hell,” Bones mocked when Jim went down to meet them. The others were busy talking to Spock and Nyota, letting their kids acquaint themselves with the new crew.   
“Don’t remind me,” he sighed, running a hand over his eyes. The Ceti Alpha sun was something he didn’t want to deal with now.

Bones didn’t. Instead he smiled and looked down at the five year old trying to hide behind Jim. “This can’t be the same tiny baby I saw five years ago, can it?”  
Fabian peered around his dad, looking at McCoy then up at Jim. Jim nudged him forward, “This is Leonard McCoy. He’s an old friend.”  
Fabian took in the man before him; blue shirted- which according to his dad’s stories meant that he was in the science department. He slowly stood around his dad and nodded.

“Well, at the rate you’re growing I bet you’ll be stronger than Khan himself.”

Fabian smiled widely, before leaning back to his dad. The others had all talked to him before Noah had approached Jim. “The housing arrangements have been set, my lord.”  
“Thank you, Noah,” he replied, leading the others through the city.

Khan had appeared that night. He had arranged a gathering of Jim’s crew and his crew. Jim was astonished at his husband; he had spent a week varying from being the strong leader that the world saw him as, to a scared and vulnerable man who needed his husband to get him through a rough patch. But at the gathering, he was smiling and talking to everyone who approached him. _Maybe it was just a minor thing_ , Jim thought while listening to a story Sulu was telling about their voyage to an abandoned Romulan planet. _He’s fine now_.

Before the night was over, Jim approached Bones. “Can I ask you something?”  
McCoy threw up a glare at Jim, completely ignoring the fact that the doctor was talking to Meryn. “I’m in the middle of something, if you haven’t noticed.”  
Jim crossed his arms. He could play this game. “Meryn, leave us,” he said bluntly.   
“Yes, my lord,” she smiled at both Bones and Jim and ventured off into the crowd. “I hate how you can do that,” Bones grumbled, tossing back a glass of wine. “What was it you wanted to ask, anyway.”  
“Before I tell you, you have to promise me; you cannot tell anyone. Not any other members of the crew, not Spock or Nyota, and definitely not Khan.”  
“No worries there, lad. I wouldn’t go near your husband, even with a ten foot pole,” he sighed, pouring another drink. “No offence.”  
“None taken,” Jim replied, sitting down next to him. “I think I’m pregnant again.”

Bones nearly choked on the wine, before setting it back down on the table. “What do you mean you _think_?”  
“I asked the other augments, Meryn included,” Jim gestured after the woman. “They said it was too early to tell but-”  
“-But you wanted a second opinion,” Bones finished. Jim nodded, “I just want to be sure.”  
“Alright, I can get a few things from the medbay, and meet you whenever it suits,” Bones informed him, before taking another drink of his wine. He studied Jim’s face before finishing. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”  
Jim shook his head. “Don’t lie to me, kid.”  
He sighed in defeat. He knew he couldn’t try to keep Bones in the dark, especially where his life was concerned.

“Would it be possible to die during childbirth?”  
Bones’ face paled. “It would depend on who you were talking about.”  
“Me, or the child,” Jim replied, idly running his hand through his hair.   
“Well, back in the old days, yes. Death was possible, almost certain, actually. But now we have more advanced technology so the possibility has been reduced to a minor percentage,” Bones listed, putting his glass down and talking to Jim head-on. “But you survived with Fabian, didn’t you?”  
Jim nodded slightly.   
“Well then,” Bones sat back up, leaning against the back of his chair. “You proved you were strong enough to survive. You shouldn’t have any problems with this one. If you _are_ pregnant, of course.”

Jim took in everything Bones said. He could do this. He can live, and prove Khan’s nightmares as just that; bad dreams.

“What brought all of this talk of ‘death during childbirth’ anyway?” Bones asked, raising an eyebrow, looking over the brim of his glass taking another mouthful of wine.

Jim shrugged. “Nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I have no words. Um....Yeah. Khan got scared. REALLY scared. And Jim is just...amazing at calming people down.
> 
> ...This got sad very quickly.
> 
> I'll just let myself out.


	4. All I Want...

_**"** All I want is for you not to Forget.  
 Dreamt a dream; stained in blood I bled. **"**_ **\- The Ivy Walls, 'All I Want'**

 

The next morning, Jim had arranged to meet Bones where he was living. Getting up early that morning, he smiled at the attempt Khan made to get him back to bed. The augment’s arm slung over his middle tightened when Jim made a move to get out of bed.

“Where are you going?” he mumbled sleepily, not bothering to open his eyes.   
“Just for a walk,” Jim replied, detaching himself from Khan. “I’ll be back before mid day. Until then, you get some sleep,” he smiled and ruffled the augment’s hair, ignoring the sleep-heavy sigh.

Jim crept out of the house, heading for Bones’ home. It was still early, the sun was peering over the mountains and the late night patrollers were now returning to their homes, greeting Jim as he passed.

Bones wasn’t so happy to meet Jim as he appeared at his door. “Morning,” Jim said, a wide smile plastered on his face.   
“I’ll kill you,” Bones grumbled, letting the blond in. “Do that, and you have my husband to deal with,” Jim called over his shoulder.

 

*

 

Admiral Roche sat in his office, overlooking the courtyard of Starfleet headquarters, flicking through a PADD full of reports filed by Captain Sulu. The two men had arranged, with the crew’s and Khan’s consent, to let Roche in on the information on their whereabouts. After all, it was Roche who let Spock and Bones launch a ‘rescue party’ for the captain.

Roche, despite popular belief at the academy, was not a harsh man. He had a heart, and was thrilled to see James Kirk alive and happy. Of course, he was a bit apprehensive at the thought of him living amongst the augments, but with the news that Commander Spock and Lieutenant Uhura would be staying there permanently, it gave him some closure.

He closed the PADD when a knock came from the door, followed swiftly by two officers he recognised from the academy. “What can I do for you two gentlemen?”  
“Sir,” one of them began. “I wondered if we may bring an urgent matter to your attention.”  
“Well then, if it’s urgent then I’m all ears.”  
“We’ve been going through personnel files and it would appear one of our captains is...missing.”  
“Missing?” Roche leaned back in his chair. “Who?”  
“Captain James T. Kirk, of the USS Enterprise,” the first man explained.

Roche laughed. “He’s not missing, gentlemen. He’s retired.”  
“Retired? But sir, he’s only 29-”  
“-Age is nothing in this business, Commander. He’s retired and that’s that,” he said bluntly.

Roche watched the two commanders leave his office and sighed. It was a regular occurrence that people would come into his office and say that Jim was ‘missing’ or ‘presumed dead’, and what could he say? He couldn’t tell them that he had set up a civilisation with a squad of augments, and married one of them.

As far as he was concerned, he wasn’t supposed to know about Jim’s whereabouts. No one was, to be honest. He was treated as a missing person, and as far as Admiral Roche was concerned, he wanted to keep it that way until he could find a suitable reason for the man’s disappearance.

And that could take some time.

 

*

 

By the time Khan fully woke up, he felt the bed dip behind him followed by a heavy sigh. Without opening his eyes, he turned to gather the blond back into his arms just like he did that morning. Jim didn’t move when Khan wrapped his arm around him. He didn’t move when he felt Khan rub his nose against the back on his neck, kissing it gently. “You took a rather long walk, love.”  
Jim just mumbled in agreement. “I suppose I did.”

Khan tensed slightly, sensing something was wrong. Jim was facing away from him, but when he lifted himself up on one elbow, Khan could see a sullen look on his husband’s face. “What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing,” he replied, staring out of the window at the other side of the room.  
“James,” he turned the blond around to look at him. “Tell me.”

Jim shook his head. “I don’t know how to say this, but...” he trailed off, seemingly looking for the right words. “I went to see Leonard today.”  
Khan nodded, gesturing him to go on. “I asked him to perform some tests. I didn’t want you to know, because...I was scared.”  
“Scared?”  
He sighed. “Your nightmares were about me dying during childbirth.”

Khan didn’t need to hear anything else; he understood perfectly. Khan shuffled up on the bed slightly, being able to cradle Jim’s head against his chest. “I don’t want to believe them,” he heard his husband mumble. “I know they’re nightmares, but if I did die-”  
“-Don’t say that,” khan interrupted. “You’ll be alright. We’ll both be.”

Jim looked up to Khan and smiled slightly. “I love you so much, do you know that?”  
“I do. I love you more,” the augment leaned down to kiss Jim gently before breaking apart to see their son slip into their room.

“Our little Prince,” Jim said happily, letting the five year old nuzzle against both of his dads. He looked up to see Khan looking at him worriedly. The blond smiled and mouthed ‘ _we’ll be fine’_.

Despite being mid-day, Fabian had no problem falling asleep on Jim, letting his dad comb the blond hair off his face. Jim was brought back to the present when he felt Khan’s arm tense slightly around him. “So what did McCoy say?”  
“Hmm?”  
“You said you went to see him,” Khan smirked. “What did he say?”  
Jim smiled down at the sleeping boy in his arms. “He’ll be a big brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gaaaahhhhhh I didn't know what to write. I'm sorry. 
> 
> That song. My feels. Nope.
> 
> Chris Pine is in their music video. Lol.


	5. We'll never have to fight again, There's no reason now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Where we're going" by Corey Gray. Listen to it (Yes, I know I already stated it before but ITS AMAZEBALLS).

“I hear congratulations are in order,” Scotty announced as the crew of the Enterprise met Spock and Jim down in the centre of the city. Jim looked back at the gathering crewmembers before glaring at Bones. “You told them?”  
“I kind of had to kid,” he defended. “They’re our family.”  
“Well if you told them something personal of mine, then I suppose you don’t mind if I tell them a secret of yours?”

Bones narrowed him gaze and dragged the blond away from the group slightly, letting them talk to Spock and Nyota. “What in God’s name are you talking about?”  
“You and Meryn,” he smirked. “I see the way you look at her.”  
“So?”  
“So you realise she’s an augment, right? One of my husband’s people?”  
“And what are you trying to say?”  
“If you want her, you’ll have to stay.”

Bones looked at Jim astonished. “Stay?”  
Jim nodded, and then gestured to Khan making his way down the street with Fabian gathered in his arms. “There’s no way in Hell that he’s going to let an augment leave Ceti Alpha. If you want her, I guess you’re staying here.”  
Bones wanted to retort, but couldn’t find the words. Sighing in defeat, he looked at Jim. “Four members of Starfleet living among superhumans on a deserted planetary system, what could go wrong?”

The two men laughed. “Oh you’d be surprised, my friend,” Jim commented quietly before Khan appeared beside him, handing over Fabian.  
“What are you two talking about?” the augment asked, watching the boy scramble over to Jim.  
“Bones here may have an infatuation with one of your people, love,” he smirked, watching Bones glare at him. “I was just informing him that he’ll have to stay here with us.”  
Khan glanced over at the doctor. “Well then I hope you’ll be happy here, doctor.”

Bones accepted Khan’s invitation to stay and made his way to find Meryn. Watching his friend disappear into the sea of superhumans, Jim felt a kiss being placed at the top of his head. He turned around to see a smiling Khan. “You know there’s one person we haven’t told of the surprise.”  
“Surprise?” Fabian echoed, looking at Khan. “What surprise?”

Khan led his husband and son away from the group so they could have some privacy. Jim let his son sit on the edge of a large bench in one of the many off-street gardens that the augment’s often used. “You dad has something to tell you,” Khan smiled at his son who was now trying to get back into Jim’s arms.

Once settled, Jim took a deep breath. “Fay, there’s something very important I have to tell you. Before I do, though, I want you to know I love you very much. So does your father. You’re our little miracle,” he smiled at the boy who looked utterly confused. “Do you understand that much?”  
Fabian nodded slightly, watching his father take his dad’s hand. “You’re going to have a little brother or sister.”

Fabian looked at both of his parents. “A brother or sister?”  
“That’s right, Fay,” Jim unlaced his fingers from Khan’s and took his son’s hand, placing it over his stomach. “In a few months, you’ll get to see him or her.”

The prospect confused the boy, but nonetheless he nodded. Khan chuckled, “He’s only five,” he reminded Jim, fearing that the man had forgotten that simple fact. When Fabian got restless and wanted to see Avarin and Sobek, Jim and Khan linking hands again and led their son back to the group.

 

*

 

That night, Khan and Jim spent it wandering around the city in dim light. There were a few augments doing the same, but they were guards keeping the watch over the rest. Khan had explained shortly after arriving on the planet that, although there really was no need to be protective on a planet so far away from harm, danger could still follow them here. That became evident when the Klingon camp was discovered five years ago.

Jim remembers how that shook Khan. He never wanted to admit it, but when he saw danger appear on a planet that he ruled, Khan didn’t trust himself. But Jim did. He told his husband that he was strong and capable of holding this society together. Khan and Jim were the golden pair. They ruled together, and their bond only grew stronger when Fabian was born and presented to the augments in a short ceremony. The prospect confused Jim, but Khan explained that it was a custom to show newborn royalty to their people.

“My love?” Khan mumbled, bringing Jim out of whatever he was thinking about.  
“What?”  
“I asked what McCoy said about Meryn,” he smiled noting the vacant look in Jim’s eyes. “I think I should be asking what you are thinking about?”  
“Just us,” he smirked, lacing his arms around Khan’s. “About everything that has happened to us, that _will_ happen to us.”  
“Don’t be dwelling in the future,” he heard the warning in Khan’s voice. “If you spend too much time there, you might miss something that’s happening now.”

Jim only smiled, looking up to the stars. “Are you listening to me?”  
“Yes, yes,” he answered vaguely. Khan rolled his eyes and stood infront of him, pushing him over to the wall of their house. Finally getting Jim to look at him, Khan leaned down to kiss him deeply, holding his hips in both of his hands. Jim moaned into the kiss and leaned into Khan’s grasp, tracing his hands over Khan’s shoulders and around his neck.  
When they broke apart, Jim smiled, “I don’t think it’s very socially acceptable to try and seduce your husband out in public.”  
“You may be right,” Khan mumbled, placing kisses along Jim’s jaw then down his neck. “What do you suggest we do then?”  
Jim’s hand went straight to the back of Khan’s neck, holding him there. “Continue this inside?”  
Despite Jim’s attempts, Khan easily pulled back from his neck, dotting a few kisses on his jaw before smirking down at the blond. “Lead the way.”


	6. Telling Signs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHMYGOD WHAT. I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS TAKING LIKE A MONTH.
> 
> *sobs*

Waking up the next morning, Jim felt Khan’s fingers trace small patterns on his back, pulling him in closer. He rubbed his sleep-ridden eyes and looked up at the augment smiling. “Morning.”  
“Good morning,” Khan replied, taking Jim’s hand in his and kissing his knuckles. “I love you.”  
“I love you too,” Jim grinned and relaxed into Khan’s hold. He watched sleepily as Khan interlinked their fingers, before he sighed deeply.   
“Fabian will be awake soon,” he informed the blond, gently combing his hair with his fingers. “He’ll be in here within minutes.”

Jim shrugged and wrapped an arm around Khan’s middle, nuzzling into his neck breathing him in. “We still have time,” he sighed happily.

Time seemed to stand still as the pair lounged in their room, melded together. Jim’s mind still wandered while Khan stared out of the window into the distance, watching the sun rise. The sounds of the city slowly crept into the silent room, with Jim sighing deeply when he knew that when the city was waking up, so would Khan.

The augment made a move to untangle himself from the blond, but Jim tightened his hold on him. “Do you have to go?”  
“Yes, James. I have to go,” he commented. “I’m the king.”  
“If you’re the king,” Jim brought the augment back to lying back down on the bed, hovering over one side of him. “Then you can do whatever you like.”

Khan rolled his eyes. “You’re being silly,” he smiled, leaning up to kiss Jim gently.   
“But I have a valid point,” Jim smirked when Khan pulled away.  
“That you do, my love,” Khan agreed. He draped and arm over Jim’s back, pulling him down to kiss him again, and then finally pulling away to haul himself out of bed.

Khan wandered across the room putting on clothes but never taking his eyes of Jim, who was lounging in the bed, absentmindedly playing with the silk sheets. He had a forlorn look on his face, one that slightly worried Khan. He shouldn’t think anything of it to begin with, but it was Jim. If Jim was worried, then Khan would do everything within his power to set it right.

“James,” he began, drawing the blond’s attention from the bundles of sheets to the augment. “If there’s anything wrong, you need to tell me.”  
Jim rolled his eyes. “You’ve said that before.”  
“I mean it,” Khan pulled on his jacket and walked back over to Jim. “You need to tell me or else I will assume everything’s alright.”

Sitting down on the bed, he cupped Jim’s cheek. “I love you so much, and I want to help if there was anything ever wrong,” he mumbled, bringing Jim close enough to kiss him. “I’d do anything for you.”  
“I know,” Jim replied just as quietly, looking into Khan’s eyes.

“Dad!”

Jim huffed a laugh, rubbing his nose against Khan’s. “You better get going. If Fabian gets you, you’ll never leave.”  
Khan nodded gently, placing a small kiss on Jim’s lips before getting up off of the bed, leaving a cold space to where he was.

 

*

 

“Admiral Roche.”  
Roche turned in his chair to see the door to his office swing open. Another Starfleet admiral marched in, throwing a file onto the desk. “Care to explain?”

Roche shot a glance down to the files sprawled across his desk and unsurprisingly they all read the same thing. Roche gathered himself, and sat up straight in his chair. “What is there to explain?”  
“In the last five years, the crew aboard the USS Enterprise has made an exceedingly long series of trips to the Ceti Alpha planetary system. Now I’ve looked through these files for weeks and listened to reports given by other captains and their first officers and there has been no written reports drawn up as to _why_ they spend so long there.”  
The admiral glared at Roche. “I want an explanation.”

 

*

 

“I want every available Starfleet officer searching for Khan Noonien Singh,” Admiral Duggan ordered, standing infront of a crowd of captains and their first officers, all sitting around a large conference table.  
“Sir, Khan Noonien Singh was killed years ago,” one captain remarked from the corner, looking around at the others.   
“That is what we were led to believe Captain Burke, but I have files to prove otherwise.”

Duggan scattered multiple PADDs across the board table and let the officers pry around, inspecting each of them. “Sir, if these files are correct, then the crew of the USS Enterprise has been harbouring the whereabouts of a criminal for five years.”

“That’s _exactly_ what they’ve been doing,” Duggan placed his hands against the table and leaned forward. “And under Federation laws, they will be arrested and Khan killed.”


	7. My Songbird [Part 1]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well shit. 3 months later....Sarah decides to write the next chapter...*slow clap*

It was one of those days on Ceti Alpha V that called for nothing to be done. Khan had no duties to be concerning himself with, and Jim had spent the majority of the morning wandering over and back from the bathroom, every time passing the large mirror and sneaking a peek at his stomach.  
He had said to Khan that it looked slightly bigger than it had with Fabian. He was only three months along, to the best of his knowledge, and shouldn’t be showing at all. But there was a bump. Nothing huge, but it was noticeable.  
Khan watched Jim from the warmth of their bed; looking at his husband under hooded eyelids and smiling lazily as Jim fretted. He secretly loved days like this; nothing to do and no one to worry about. His family was of course always on his mind, as was their safety, but now Jim was all he had his mind set on.

 

“It looks huge,” Jim complained for the hundredth time that morning.  
“Nonsense, my love,” Khan smiled and hauled himself out of bed, walking idly towards Jim. “It’s barely recognisable.”  
Jim sighed when Khan wrapped his arms around his middle. He leaned back into the augment and caught his gaze in the mirror. “Really?”  
“Really,” Khan placed a gentle kiss on Jim’s head and nuzzled into his hair.

he pair stood motionless for what seemed like hours until Jim moved out of Khan’s hold and wandered back into bed. When he settled into the warm blankets, he felt the bed dip down behind him, followed by Khan’s arms wrapping back around him; one moving down onto the slight bump in Jim’s middle.

 

Despite being totally awake, Jim was nearly pulled back into sleep by Khan singing softly behind him. He had heard the augment murmur words of the song before. When he was pregnant with Fabian, he often woke up in the middle of the night to Khan lying beside his bump, singly softly to their unborn son. He had heard it again soon after Fabian was born; through the tiredness, he heard Khan whispering to Fabian to get him to sleep.

 

“ _Of all the money that e'er I had,_  
 _I've spent it in good company._  
 _And all the harm that ever I did,_  
 _Alas, it was to none but me._  
 _And all I've done for want of wit;_  
 _To memory now I can't recall._  
 _So fill to me the parting glass,_  
 _Good night and joy be with you all.”_

 

Jim erupted into a smile and turned in Khan’s hold to rest his head in the groove of the augment’s neck. He sighed contently and draped his arm over Khan’s torso.

 

“ _Oh, all the comrades that e'er I had_  
 _They're sorry for my going away_  
 _And all the sweethearts that e'er I had_  
 _They'd wish me one more day to stay_  
 _But since it falls unto my lot_  
 _That I should rise and you should not_  
 _I'll gently rise and softly call_  
 _Good night and joy be with you all_.”

*

“Explain that again to me, Mr. Sulu.”

 

Khan had left Jim to rest in bed when he was commed about a message from the Enterprise. He patched them through and greeted the captain, but had trouble actually understanding what he was trying to tell the augment.

 

“We’ve received information that some Starfleet Admirals are on a witch hunt for you, Jim, Spock and Nyota,” Sulu explained for the third time that morning. “We have our suspicions that they’ll have no trouble finding you, and when they do, they’ll kill you.”

 

Khan sat back in his chair and processed the information. He was livid. If Starfleet Admirals were to find him, they wouldn’t be leaving, that’s for sure. Not with Jim, not with their son or their unborn child either.

 

“Khan,” Sulu continued. “I’d like to relay this information to Jim.”  
“Jim’s unavailable,” Khan explained, his patience wearing very thin at this moment. “He’s under pressure at the moment and I don’t want this sort of information adding to it.”  
“You mean he’s pregnant again, right?”  
Khan froze. “How do you know?”  
“Jim told Spock, and Spock told us.”

 

 _I’ll kill him_ , Khan thought before shoving the idea abruptly out of his head. “I don’t want to add any pressure to him now,” Khan explained again. “It would be too much for him.”  
Sulu went to argue his case but faltered when he saw Khan look so...emotional. “Alright,” he sighed. “But you will have to tell him eventually.”  
“I understand,” Khan nodded.

The comm ended and Khan was left in the silence of the house. Fabian had left for Avarin’s house earlier that morning and Jim was contently sleeping in bed. He sat there stiffly, and wondering for the first time in his life; what would he do?

*

When Jim woke up, Khan was out on the balcony staring blankly out onto the desert beyond the city walls. Jim walked up to the augment and wrapped his arms around him and kissed his neck. “Good mornin’” he smiled.  
“Good afternoon,” Khan corrected him. “You’ve slept all through the morning.”

 

Jim shrugged and walked around Khan until he was leaning back onto the railing of the balcony. The pair laced their hands together; their fingers were intertwining. Jim loved these moments because it was just the two of them. It was lovely and heart-warming to see Khan take care of his people, but he used to do it so often that Jim often felt neglected. They only saw each other in the night, and even then, Khan would have to leave early the next morning.

 

Now, he could relish in the fact that he had a husband who loved him, a son that adored him, and a new edition to their family on the way.

 

“How are you feeling?” Khan asked, taking one of his hands away from Jim’s and placing it on his middle.  
“I felt a bit sick when I got up,” Jim said, noting the flicker of worry flash through his face. “Feeling fine now, though.”  
Khan nodded slightly, and leaned in to kiss Jim gently. Jim smiled against Khan’s lips and wrapped his arms around Khan’s neck.

 

They spent what seemed like hours kissing until a sharp, piercing pain flashed through Jim’s middle. Jim pulled away from Khan’s lips to hiss in pain. He fell forward slightly into Khan’s arms, trying to push back the pain.  
Khan quickly caught Jim and gathered him in his arms. “What’s wrong?” he asked, trying to hard to maintain his resolve.  
“The baby,” Jim gasped out, wincing at another pierce of pain.  
Khan shook his head and carried Jim inside the house, calling for Laila. When the poor girl faltered down the stairs, Khan told her to go and get Eli.

 

“No,” Jim pleaded and reached out for Laila. “Get Bones.”  
Khan looked at Jim questionably, but seeing the cold fear plastered across the blond’s face, he merely nodded and told Laila to go and get McCoy.  
Jim was lain down on the bed while the horrible pain continued to rattle through his middle. Khan stayed by the blond’s side while Bones hurriedly sprinted into the house. Khan explained to the doctor about the sudden pains and Bones looked at Jim worriedly.

 

Bones spent an hour performing tests on Jim, all the while enduring the tense glances Khan gave him whenever results came back. Bones had given Jim enough pain killers to knock out an elephant. The tests had finished and Bones walked over to Khan at the other side of the bedroom.  
“Well?”  
Bones took a deep breath and looked over his shoulder to a very unconscious Jim sleeping peacefully beneath the sheets. “He’ll be fine,” he started to explain. “His body is getting used to the size of the kids-”  
Khan looked at Bones wide-eyed. “Kids?”  
Bones smiled lightly and nodded. “He’s carrying twins.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Parting Glass...How terribly Irish of me...I couldn't help it, don't throw things at me *hides*


	8. My Songbird [Part 2]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more Khirk fluff because why not :3

Khan refused to patrol that day. He wanted to stay by Jim’s side as the blond drifted in and out of consciousness. Bones had assured Khan that Jim would be alright, and the drugs would wear off, and Khan was really in no hurry.  
Every time Jim would come out of sleep, he would shuffle around the bed looking for Khan’s hand. The pair would be there for a few moments, silent, until Jim fell back to sleep.  
Khan couldn’t stop thinking about what Bones had said to him. Twins. He couldn’t believe it. He was thrilled, obviously, and stunned. With two children on the way, Khan felt himself becoming more and more protective of Jim, even as he slept soundly.

He sighed and stood up from the chair he had pulled over to the side of the bed. Wiping Jim’s blond hair form his forehead and placing a gentle kiss there, he left the captain to sleep while he gently closed the door behind him.  
Nyota had arrived at the house with Fabian a little under an hour ago. Now the five year old was sitting in the main room playing with one of his toys. He was aware that Bones was here, and was slightly worried about his dad. But Khan told him not to be, that everything was going to be alright.  
When Khan walked into the main room, Fabian dropped his toy spaceship and sprinted over to the augment, clutching his legs. “Is daddy alright?”  
Khan smiled slightly and hoisted the boy up into his arms. “Daddy’s fine, Fay. He’s just a bit tired at the moment,” he explained to the boy who still looked worried. “Tell you what, when he wakes up, you can go and see for yourself.”

Fabian nodded eagerly and wrapped his tiny arms around Khan’s neck, hugging him tightly. Khan merely laughed lightly and untangled the boy from him. “Until then, why don’t I tell you some more stories?”  
The boy giggled and nodded. “Can you tell the one about you and Daddy?”  
Khan shook his head and held back a sigh. “No I can’t, maybe another day,” the augment walked over to the large sofa and sat down, dragging the boy onto sitting on his lap. “I can tell you the one about the old kings of earth, or the one of the stories about space; those were always your favourite.”  
Fabian shrugged. “I’ve heard them all, father,” he smiled and hugged Khan again. “You never tell me any stories about you and Daddy.”

“They’re not very happy stories, Fay,” Khan explained solemnly, combing his finger through Fabian’s golden blond hair.  
“They have happy endings though,” Fabian mumbled. “Don’t they?”  
“That they do, sweetheart. That they do.”

 

*

 

Jim woke up in the middle of the night groggy and disorientated. He faintly made out the outlines of the bookshelves across the room, and the tall lancet windows leading out onto the balcony. When he shook his head to get rid of the remaining tiredness, he noticed Khan’s strong arm wrapped lazily around his waist. He turned to face the augment when he noticed Fabian’s small frame between his two fathers, nestled in the sheets with damp cheeks. Jim gently wiped his son’s face of remaining tears before the boy stirred from sleep.

“Hey there, my little soldier,” Jim smiled.  
Fabian shuffled closer to Jim, being consciously careful of his middle. That’s where he’s new sibling was, he reminded himself. “I saw Doctor McCoy come here,” he said, his voice wavering and threatening to break again. “You’re sick.”  
“No, no,” Jim hushed, careful not to wake Khan who shuffled slightly on the other side of the bed. “I’m fine, Fay. I’m fine.”  
Fabian didn’t cry, but he did sniffle and bury his head into his dad’s neck. Fabian was such a delicate little thing, Jim thought. It was hard to believe that their son was so emotional when it came to family, but Jim smiled when it reminded him exactly of Khan. The augment still slept, and Jim didn’t blame him; he must have been awake with Jim all throughout Bones’ tests, and even when Jim was wavering in and out of consciousness. 

“Of all the money that e’er I had, I spent it in good company,  
And all the harm, that e’er I’ve done, alas it was to none, but me.  
And all I’ve done, for want of wit,  
To memory now, I can’t recall.  
So fill to me, the parting glass; goodnight and joy be with you all...”

 

Jim hummed the words to Khan’s song gently to Fabian. He could feel the boy slowly uncoil from the fear and sadness, and descended into sleep.

 

“Of all the comrades that e’er I’ve had,  
they’re sorry for my going away.  
And all the sweethearts, that e’er I’ve loved,  
They would wish me one more day to stay  
But since it falls unto my lot, that I should rise, and you should not,  
I’ll gently rise and I’ll softly call;  
Goodnight and Joy be with you all.”

Jim’s voice gently lowered when he heard Fabian’s soft breathing become heavy. The boy’s head was still nestled into Jim’s neck and his grip on his dad’s arm became loose. Jim stopped singing the song altogether when he noticed that Khan had turned around in the bed, and was looking at him smiling.  
“Beautiful singing, my love,” the augment smirked.

Jim shrugged and scooted their son into a more comfortable position between them. The boy squirmed slightly and settled back into a deep sleep. Khan smiled at his family, and placed a gentle kiss on Jim’s lips. “How are you feeling?” he asked quietly, pulling away from the blond’s lips slightly.  
“Alright,” Jim shrugged. “My stomach’s killing me, and what exactly did Bones give me? Animal tranquilizer?”  
Khan huffed a laugh. “He needed you to relax and sleep, my love,” he explained quietly, trying not to wake their son. Khan’s smile fell slightly when Jim mentioned his stomach hurting. His breath hitched as he gathered whatever remaining courage he had left before he leaned over to Jim’s ear and muttered, “You’re carrying twins.”  
Jim’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. “What?”  
“The pains in your stomach are because the babies have nowhere to grow. Your body will adjust in time, but it will be sore for a while.”

Jim was in disbelief, and lay back onto the pillows. He covered his face with his hands and sighed.  
“Do you not wish to have them?” Khan said quietly.  
“I want them,” Jim replied hastily. “I do. It’s just the shock of it. Two kids.”  
Khan nodded and glanced down to Fabian still softly snoring contently. He threaded his fingers through his hair and mumbled, “We’ll survive.”  
Jim laughed. “I’m sure we will.”

Khan reached around Fabians little frame to let Jim nestled into the augment’s body too. The night was not as dark as it usually was, with soft glows from the stars dotted in the black sky filtering into the room. The shine of the moon also cast a white light of the three bodies in the bed.

Jim soon drifted back to sleep, listing to the mumblings of dreams that his son was having, and to the gentle lullaby of his husband. 

His very own songbird.


	9. A Thousand Silhouettes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even going to try and apologise for how long this took. My exams are finished so expect longer chapters and an actual story line...

Jim often woke to an empty bed. It wasn't unusual at all. What was, however, was the sounds of both his husband and his son laughing from the balcony. Fabian was fixated with the stars, and who was Khan to refuse showing them to the five year old.

The drugs Bones had been pumping into him for the pain were taking their toll - Jim was sleeping most of the day and awake all night. He ate what he could, and that was very little. Khan was concerned, as he always was, but Jim always put him at ease.

From his position lying down on their bed, Jim could see Khan standing on the balcony overlooking most of the city. The sun had begun to set, casting a soft orange glow that caught the golden sheen of Fabian's wheat coloured hair. There were tall, lancet windows that looked out onto the marbled balcony, and the two tall arched doors were wide open, letting in a welcomed evening breeze.

Their conversation was muffled, with Jim only hearing the murmur in Khan's voice everytime he laughed at a question asked by Fabian. He had been asking a lot of them recently, as he would, but Jim couldn't help but worry about it. He was leading questions into dangerous topics, one of which involved Khan's past.

Jim hadn't thought about it, but when he was left alone like he was now, he couldn't help but to think about how little he actually knows about Khan's past. Khan knows everything there is to know about Jim's, as does Fabian, even if the truth is stretched a little bit.

He would love to sit his husband down and ask, but he knows how much Khan has been through in this time. Maybe his time was even worse. Jim hauled himself up from bed and swung his legs over the side. Even after days of supervision from Bones, it still feels like trying to stand on jelly. He got up slowly, watching the pair from a near window. The two of them were looking up into the red coloured sky, muttering to each other.

When Jim found the ability to shuffle to the doors leading out onto the balcony, Fabian was the first to see him. "Daddy!" he said happily, trying to wiggle out of Khan's arms and into Jim's.

He smiled at his son as he took him from Khan. The augment eyed him carefully, keeping an arm around Fabian's back in case Jim's arms got weak.

Fabian had his normal gleaming smile as he wrapped his tiny arms around Jim's neck. "Father was showing me the stars," he smiled pointing up to the sky at the faint dots of white coming through the red sky.

"I don't see why he has such a fixation on them," Khan said.

Jim smiled. "He's five," he reminded the augment. "He has a fixation on everything."

 

Nights began to roll in quickly, hinting that maybe the planet had a seasonal system. If winter was as bad as the planets supposed summer, Jim didn't know what they would do. The other augment's were good at growing their own food and some even asked about venturing to neighbouring planetary systems to get animals to rear.

Khan immediately said no. No one was to leave the city, let alone the planet. Jim stood by and saw Khan lose himself once more in protecting his people. He had seen it all before and he thought that maybe it was all behind him. Apparently not. 

That night when Fabian was in bed, Jim saw Khan on the balcony again, hands clasping onto the railing. Jim joined him on the marbled balcony and pulled on a jacket to shield him from the bitter night's wind. Khan wasn't wearing a jacket, just his usual thin black shirt and desert apparel. "You ok?" Jim asked quietly, not wanting to scare Khan if he hadn't heard him come out.

Khan nodded. "I'm fine."

Jim walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Khan's middle. He felt the augment tense in his hold, and he relaxed his embrace slightly. "Are you sure?"

Khan didn't answer for a long time before sighing, "No."

"What's wrong?" Jim hooked his chin over Khan's shoulder and breathed in the air around them. When Khan didn't answer again, he nudged the augment's neck with his nose. "Tell me."

"I can't," Khan shook his head. "You'll hate me."

Jim tightened his grip around Khan's middle. "I couldn't never hate you."

Khan sighed before untangling Jim's arms from around his waist. He turned to face the blond and caught his head between his hands. "Its about my past - my life during the Wars."

"Tell me about it," Jim said, placing hid hands over Khan's.

The augment took a breath before tilting his head back to look at the stars. "When I was a ruler of a kingdom, it wasn't uncommon for other leaders in my position to assure they had my allegiance. Some offered me money, others their armies and titles, but I remember one leader - Barbas - he offered me something he said i couldn't refuse."

Jim's eyes scanned Khan's face when he peered back down at the blond. "He said I could have his sister's hand in marriage in exchange for my kingdoms allegiance to his. I met her on the day of our wedding, and thinking she was the most beautiful woman i have ever seen." 

"What was here name?"

"Marina. I'll admit that i had no real love for the woman at first. I didn't even know who she was up until that day. Then as weeks turned into months, we developed respect for each other, then admiration, then love. She..."

Jim looked into Khan's eyes and nodded, urging him to continue.

"She became pregnant not long after our wedding, and gave birth to our only child months later. I gave her my love, and she gave me a daughter. I loved that girl from the moment I saw the nurses pull her from Marina."

Khan took Jim's hands in his and led him to the bench that was perched up on elevated steps to the side of the balcony. Once settled, Khan still hung on to Jim's hands, running his thumb over the blond's knuckles.

"One day, I was returning from a tourney hosted by a neighbouring leader. Marina was still weak from the birth so she was left with my best guards. I told them that they needed to protect Marina with as much power as they would protect me. When I got to the hill overlooking my kingdom..."

Khan's eyes shut closed.

"Everything was destroyed. The walls were ruins, the houses and huts were burnt to the ground, and my palace was still burning."

Jim winced. "What happened to Marina and your daughter?"

"Slaughtered."

The word hits Jim like a train. Khan had a neutral look swiped across his face, but Jim knows that he's screaming inside.

"Barbas killed them. My wife and child - his sister and niece. Slaughtered them in their beds during the night. I promised to protect them...and I failed.".

Jim hardly felt Khan's grip tightening slightly on his hands. He didn't care. He needed to get his anger out, and if it was going to cost him a few hand bones, that's fine. Khan stopped himself and released Jim's hands as if they were hoy coals and he had just been burned.

"I understand that you have been through a lot, both now and back then," Jim said calmly, reaching up to run his fingers through Khan's hair. "If you want to talk more about it, I'm willing to listen "

Khan looked up with an almost astonished gaze "You're not angry with me?"

" Why would I be?" Jim shook his head, "I understand what you went through Khan."

Jim stood up from the bench and walked back to the doors leading into their room. He paused at the door, realising Khan wasn't following him. He turned around to face him. "What was she like? Marina?"

Khan shrugged. "That's the thing: i can't remember what she looked like all i know was that she was the only person that could understand me during the Wars...and someone took her away from me."

Jim nodded and looked down at the ground. "Fid you ever get Barbas back?"

Khan shook his head. "No. Fled the country before I could get my hands on him."

"Lucky bastard," Jim muttered. He went to go back inside again before Khan called out to him. "There is something about Marina you should know..."

Khan took a steady breath as he followed Jim down the steps and to the door. He gathered the blond in his arms and kissed him on the lips. When he pulled away, he said quietly, "She was a lot like you."


	10. Take those you love...

Khan had a daughter.

The thought followed Jim all throughout the following day as he trailed after Fabian and Avarin through the streets. The sun was perched in the sky, gleaming down on them. The prospect of another hot day made the five year old delirious with joy as Khan unnervingly gave them permission to go to the fountain outside the first gate of the main city. The fountain itself was huge; made of solid rock, it could easily fit the colonists and their children as they dived in to the cool water and splashed around.

Jim sat on the edge of the fountain, watching Fabian and Avarin together as they played with the other children. Nyota’s pregnancy was taking its toll on her as she felt horribly sick that morning. Understanding where she was coming from, Jim offered to take the children for a day out, leaving her to rest. Sobek, much like his own father, didn’t want to come with the two. He stayed in Spock’s study with him as he went through old reports that Sulu kept sending them. Even away from the Enterprise, they still felt somewhat included on its voyages.

Jim’s mind wandered as he thought back through the events of the previous night. Khan had a daughter. His heart lurched; not at the thought of his husband having another family, but at the way they died. After the revelation, Khan didn’t return to bed with Jim. He just stayed out on the balcony, looking over his city and muttering under his breath, “I’m sorry.”

A splash of cold water broke Jim’s train of thought as he heard the giggling of his son. His hair was drenched and flopped over his eyes. With a huge smile across his face, Jim was astounded at how much he looked like Khan – the eyes were Jim’s, as was the bright colour of his son’s hair, but the facial features, the stature, the intelligence...that was all Khan.

Jim smiled back at his son as he climbed up to sit beside him on the edge of the fountain. “Are you ok, daddy?” He peered up at Jim.  
Jim nodded and rubbed some of the water off of Fabian’s face. “Yes, my boy. I’m fine.”  
The boy’s face scrunched up. “You don’t seem ok?” He said. A flash of worry flickered over his eyes. “Are you and Father fighting?”

Jim’s heart lurched, and it felt like it would burst out of his chest. “No, my soldier, no we’re not,” he leaned back to grab a towel behind him and started to dry Fabian’s hair. “Your father is just having a hard time right now-”  
“-Like the nightmares?”  
“Like the nightmares,” Jim repeated, tossing the towel to the side when Fabian’s hair was dry. He looked over to Avarin who was playing with a few of the colonists’ children. “You just need to give him time, Fay. He’ll be fine too.”

The boy nodded and got off the edge of the fountain, splashing back into the water. He swam towards Avarin and their game continued, leaving Jim to his thoughts again. Khan’s nightmares where Jim’s nightmares: plain and simple. While his husband dreamt about Jim’s death during childbirth, Jim dreamt of Khan’s death should Starfleet find them. He told himself that it’s impossible. They were on an uncharted planet system with a small army at their command. They’re happy, and content, and safe.

So why did Jim feel like something was coming for them?


	11. The Devil you know, or the Devil you don't?

Admiral Roche was court marshalled.

Admiral Duggan quickly occupied his office and sent out an order not a week later; he wanted every available Starfleet officer with combat training to go to a ship. His plans of finding Khan Noonien Singh had become news around the campus of the academy and Starfleet HQ, but none really knew that he was daft enough to do it.

He drew up everyone’s file and issued them with a ship. He wanted to find the tyrant within the year, and was perfectly willing to tear up the solar system to achieve it.

According to the other Admirals, they had never seen someone so consumed with the idea of catching an augment – not since Marcus’ death at Khan’s hands. But Duggan had a perfectly good reason to try and catch Khan and kill the bastard. Marcus was a good friend of Duggan’s; they attended the academy together, they often served on the same ship – they were practically brother’s-in-arms. So when Khan murdered Marcus on his own ship, Duggan screamed over the intercom of Starfleet HQ; a vendetta had been issued against Khan Noonien Singh and his people.

They would move out with a fleet of three main ships, each carrying thousands of crew members. Duggan wanted Khan dead, and wanted to kill him himself. Before the ships departed, Duggan had a shipping order issued to the dockhands at the space ports: A single cryotube to be delivered to Duggan’s ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admiral Duggan is basically the Rowan of "The Stories of Broken Machines"


	12. A Fallen Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I did this, but please read; I have Chris Pine as a face-claim to a character I'm writing for a novel, so if you happen to see the name "Nathan" instead of "Jim" dropped anywhere...do ignore it. That's my mind being affected after an all-nighter of writing.
> 
> My worlds are merging ._.

“Mute feed.”

Khan sat back in his chair and sighed audibly. Jim and Fabian were at the fountain, and the house was eerily quiet. The augment had taken the opportunity to search through old files given to him by the other augments. Their history was always at hand in case of emergency. Khan opened the file that had the most security locks on it. Image upon image came up on the screen, followed by headlines, news reports and even photographs of his old palace in India. His old home.

The home where he lived in now with Jim was structured around it: high ceilings, wide rooms with opened windows, letting in as much light as they could.

Khan tapped the computer screen, flicking through endless images of the palace’s walls lying in ruins, his people lying bloodied on the ground in piles. The final image was different – it wasn’t full of gore, or fogged with dirt and ash. It was a picture of Marina: his Marina. It was taken on the day of their wedding. Khan could never forget the day. He had never met the woman until that day, when she walked into the mandap. The stories about her beauty didn’t compare to Khan actually lying eyes on her for the first time. She wore a crimson red sari draped over her petite frame and glistening bright hair. Khan had often wondered about that – Barbas was a stocky, big-framed man with ebony coloured hair pulled under a turban. Marina was the opposite. She had hair the colour of the sun, with bright blue eyes of every shade. While Barbas’ face was square, hers was round. She was the most beautiful thing Khan had ever seen.

After that day, she was his Queen, and Barbas was true to his word: he never attacked. But his word was always soaked in poison.

Khan doesn’t remember being told that Marina and his daughter died. He remembered one of his men, Joachim, entering his tent one night on the trek back to the palace to tell him that Barbas attacked. No one survived, save him and his people.

Marina’s body was salvaged, and burnt on a pyre big enough for a goddess. She was covered in the crimson red robes of her wedding day as a symbolic gesture towards Khan. He knew that his people only did that to hide the blood.

His daughter was never found. That was worse. He wanted closure on his baby, but with no one there to tell him otherwise, he presumed her dead too. His little girl – not even one.

The door’s latch opening snapped Khan from his thoughts. He swiped away the file and put it back under lock and key, as Jim stepped into the house with Fabian in his arms. Khan turned in his seat, and saw the child’s arms lying limply against his side. Jim closed the door behind him and caught Khan’s gaze. “He’s asleep,” Jim explained quietly.

Khan smiled and let Jim disappear down the halls and tuck Fabian into bed. Khan watched Jim go down the hall and smiled sadly to himself. He pushed himself up from his desk and went to the living room. He looked around at the small objects he had perched on the mantel piece of the fire. Some were from the previous planets that Khan and Jim visited, others were personal items. Khan’s eyes fell on the ring lying against the stone of the mantel. The gold band with a single red ruby was the ring that he had given Marina for their wedding. Jim had seen it, and asked about it, but Khan had just said it belonged to his mother. Technically, it did, but Jim didn’t ask any more questions after that.

The blond returned from Fabian’s room and met Khan in the middle of the living room. He came up behind the augment and wrapped his arms around Khan’s middle, pressing his chest to his back. Jim rested his chin over Khan’s shoulder and sighed.

“You ok?”                

Khan nodded.               

“Anything you want to talk about?”                

“No.”                

Jim pressed his lips to the side of Khan’s necks and pecked a small kiss there. His arms dropped to his sides as he turned on his heels and walked back out to the kitchen. He didn’t feel Khan’s presence, so he presumed that the augment didn’t follow him. He needed his space, and Jim understood that.

When Jim took two steps into the kitchen, he felt a fluttering in his stomach. He knew that it was too early for Khan to feel anything, but with the presence of two babies trying to grow, Jim could feel every little movement that they made. Jim pressed a hand to his left side, where one of the babies lay and the movements stopped. Good, they were going to be a handful when they were born, but Jim didn’t think about that. He knew from Eli’s reports that they would have to be born earlier than Fabian was because of the lack of space they had to grow. Eli also told Jim that he would know when to operate because he would be able to feel the two children pressed against each other – that’s when they would start to move.

It was terrifying, but Jim knew with Eli and his medics, he was in safe hands.

Bones had paid him a few visits to the house now and again, performing tests after tests, and giving Jim vitamins and lectures about how he needed them. Bones’ help was appreciated, and Jim even smiled knowing that when the babies would be born, he’d be the first one charging through the door.

Khan stood at the door of the kitchen, watching Jim silently. His hand still on his stomach, he looked over his shoulder and met the augment’s eyes. They were heavier than usual, with the brightness in them slightly dimmed. He was thinking about them.

“I’m sorry,” Jim said quietly, suddenly realising how quiet the house was when they weren’t talking.

“Stop saying that,” Khan replied, taking small steps towards Jim. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

Jim wrapped his arms around Khan’s neck when the augment stood infront of him. “I know,” he mumbled. Khan’s arms went instinctively around Jim’s middle, but had a certain gentleness about them.

“What was her name?” Jim asked, rubbing the back of Khan’s neck with his thumb.

Khan drew in a breath. “Jaya.”

“It sounds beautiful.”

“It’s Hindi for victory,” Khan replied, smiling sadly. “She was born on the day I won a battle in the West. Her mother chose it to honour my victory.”

Jim swallowed. “I’m sorry.” Khan shook his head and opened his mouth to respond when Jim interrupted him. “I know I shouldn’t say that but hear me out: I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I feel like this is something you need your space to figure out and do by yourself. I know over the last six years, it’s been you and me against the world – but if you need to do this by yourself, I’ll step back.”

Khan leaned down to kiss Jim gently. His arms around the blond’s back tightened, pulling him in closer to the augment’s chest to the point where Jim wondered if they would meld together. The kiss grew deeper and deeper until Jim felt Khan swipe his tongue over his lips. Jim opened his mouth wider, letting Khan in. The augment’s arms fell to Jim’s knees as he easily hoisted the man up and carried him to their room.

Jim pulled away from Khan’s mouth to draw in a deep breath. “What are you doing?”

Khan didn’t answer as he kissed Jim again as he carried him to their room, kicking the door closed behind him. Jim felt himself being lowered into the silk sheets of their bed and Khan’s frame looming over him. He was so confused – what the hell was he doing?

“Khan,” Jim tried again, but broke off into a moan when the augment started trailing kissed and bites down the man’s neck and collarbone. “Khan, please.”

Jim’s calls fell on deaf ears as the augment undid Jim’s shirt and flung it across the room, staring his assault on the blond’ torso. Each piece of clothing made its way into a different corner of the room until Jim had to push against Khan’s bare chest. “Stop,” he said breathless, catching Khan’s hands before they undid the buttons of his trousers. “Stop,” he repeated, staring into Khan’s eyes.

Khan didn’t pull away, but rubbed his hands over every available bit of flesh that he could find. He looked at Jim, eyes almost black with how dilated his pupils were. Jim drew in a breath. “What the hell just happened?”

“I need to forget,” Khan explained calmly, letting a hand drift over Jim’s leg. “Help me forget, James.”

When Khan leaned down to kiss Jim again, he pushed against the augment’s chest and sat up against the headboard. “No,” he replied, catching Khan’s head between his hands, making him look at him. “You’re not hiding again, do you hear me? You’ll sort this out yourself, I know you can, but please don’t hide.”

Khan was silent for a long time before sighing. His hands disappeared from Jim’s body as the augment stood up from the bed. He strode over to the middle of the room and gathered his black shirt, pulling it one wordlessly. Jim watched him, and said quietly, “Don’t leave.” Khan looked over his shoulder at the blond sitting alone in their bed. He looked smaller.

“Please don’t leave,” Jim said, outstretching his hand. “If you want to, we can but-”

Khan shook his head and shoved his hands into his pockets of his trousers. “You can stay here, James. Get some rest.”

The augment turned on his heels and walked out the bedroom door, closing it behind him. He got halfway up the corridor when he spotted Fabian peering out of his room, his body hidden behind the door. When he met his father’s eyes, Fabian quickly shut the door and scampered into bed. Khan sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He wanted to scream. Everything was going wrong.

He strode up to Fabian’s door and quietly knocked on it. He heard his son’s voice telling him to come in, and Khan’s heart lurched to his mouth when he saw the five year old under the sheets, looking at him like his was a monster.

“Fabian-”

“-Are you and daddy fighting?” he said quietly, almost not enough volume for Khan to hear.

The augment shook his head and walked to Fabian’s bed, sitting down on the edge of it. The boy didn’t come out from under the sheets, but lay there stock still. “We’re not Fabian. I’m...I’m being mean to daddy and he’s trying to help me, but I won’t let him.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not something Daddy can fix, my boy,” Khan admitted, reaching out to touch his son’s head. He was almost relieved to see that he didn’t flinch away when Khan swept a strand of hair from the boy’s face. Khan knew that he couldn’t make the same revelation to Fabian as he had to Jim. He wouldn’t understand.

Khan drew his hand back and watched Fabian quietly as he clambered out from under the sheets. He shuffled towards his father, almost like approaching a lion, and sat on his lap. He normally did this with Jim, but Khan still wrapped his arms around his son, letting the boy rest against his chest. “I love you so much,” Khan admitted, kissing the top of Fabian’s head. “I love you.”


End file.
